Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) – Tobacco companies insisted today the record $145 billion verdict against them will bankrupt the industry, but victorious plaintiffs refused to let the enemy off the hook…
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New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Internet audience measurement firm Media Metrix, seeking to differentiate itself from competitors NetRatings and PC Data, announced yesterday it will no longer use the term…
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Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Struggling rivals Juno Online and NetZero announced a $70 million merger Thursday, instantly creating what will be the nation’s No. 2 Internet access provider, and the…
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Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft executives continued to insist today that whoever hacked into their computer system did not gain access to the source codes of its major products. However,…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Lucent Technologies today announced it has ended its search for a new chief operating officer with the surprise hiring of Stockpicker_Dude_78, a frequent poster on…
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Newark, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Responding to a dramatic rise in complaints over flight delays, several major airlines announced today they will no longer attach “stress-inducing” numbers to arrival and departure…
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Leeds, England (SatireWire.com) – The British Beef Export Council, finally conceding it cannot guarantee the eradication of Mad Cow Disease, announced today it will discontinue cow production and instead promote…
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Dallas, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Exxon Mobil Chief Executive Lee Raymond yesterday declared martial law in the United States, an act that automatically suspended the Bill of Rights and forced nearly…
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Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Initially saddened and confused by this week’s strong earnings report from Microsoft, which gave it little to criticize, the media rebounded strongly today, noting the release…
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Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bridgestone- Firestone Inc. today announced the launch of a nationwide “tire sale blowout” on its P235/75R15 size radial ATX and ATX II tires, as well as…
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