Business Briefs

Chicago (SatireWire.com) – Marketing executives from United Airlines said today they are still searching for just the right tone to lure the public back into the skies after their new… Read more

Eckbridge, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – Thousands of fiscally-orthodox bankers and economists gathered under a tree in this small southwestern Pennsylvania farm yesterday after three local girls claimed they saw a vision… Read more

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Internet giant Yahoo!, which this week soundly beat analysts’ estimates, reportedly wasn’t satisfied and beat analysts’ dogs as well. Some analysts even reported getting wedgies.… Read more

Murray Hill, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – In the most hopeful sign yet that the American economy may be returning to normal, Lucent Technologies posted another staggering quarterly loss on Tuesday. Lucent… Read more

Fairfield, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – The two General Electric executives who lost out when GE’s Jack Welch named Jeffrey Immelt to succeed him as CEO demanded that Welch recount his vote… Read more

San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – PeoplePC, whose initial public offering bombed last month, said today its first IPO shouldn’t count, and urged investors to return their shares so the company can… Read more

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – The Pizza Hut-sponsored Russian rocket carrying international space station equipment exploded while in orbit today, just days after its launch. Russian Space Agency officials immediately blamed… Read more