Domino's-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

Astana, Kazakhstan ( – After yesterday’s explosion of the Russian rocket sponsored by Pizza Hut, (see story), the Russian Space Agency this morning launched its backup rocket, sponsored by Dominoes,… Read more


New York, N.Y. ( – The National Association of Wall Street Journal and Lesser Business Reporters, frustrated that the erratic stock market precludes them from easily identifying it as bull… Read more

85 Percent of Nation's 2.9 Million Jobless Say They're Not Just Statistic

Washington, D.C. ( – In a new Gallup poll on the dehumanizing aspects of job loss, nearly 85 percent of the nation’s 2.96 million unemployed said they “agreed somewhat” or… Read more

"Sponsorship Rectangles" Replace Banner Ads

New York, N.Y. ( – In a surprise concession, the Internet Advertising Bureau today acknowledged the banner ad is dead, but expressed confidence that its latest innovation, “Sponsorship Rectangles,” will… Read more

Telecom Merger Will Create First "Single Phone Company"

San Antonio, Texas ( – In a landmark decision expected to create an unprecedented “single, nationwide phone company,” a federal judge yesterday approved the merger of BellSouth, SBC, Sprint, Verizon,… Read more

Greenspan "I'm More Popular Than Jesus"

Washington, D.C. ( — Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan, who told a London Evening Standard reporter last week he was “more popular than Jesus Christ,” apologized today to the… Read more


Newark, N.J. ( – Continental Airlines, concerned over studies linking car phone use to traffic accidents, today moved to preempt similar incidents in the sky by banning the use of… Read more

Consumer Reports Says Consumer Reports Unsafe

Yonkers, N.Y. ( – Consumer Reports today issued a product safety warning on Consumer Reports, saying the popular magazine can easily overturn, has been linked to numerous hand lacerations, and… Read more

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

Frankfurt, Germany ( – In a surprising tactical shift, the frustrated European Central Bank announced yesterday it will no longer intervene to bolster the sagging euro, but will instead intervene… Read more

Lieberman Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

Austin, Texas ( – In an apparent effort to win support from the Internet industry, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman sat shiva yesterday with executives of online furniture retailer… Read more
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