RECORDS SUGGEST 2020 ELECTION CONSPIRACY INVOLVED 80M PEOPLE

ATLANTA, GA (Satirewire.com) — President Donald Trump’s legal team today said it now believes the conspiracy to steal the election for Joe Biden may have included more than 80 million… Read more

BOEING DECLARES ITS AIRCRAFT WILL NOT BE MADE OF MEAT

Latching onto the meatless craze, Boeing today announced all of its aircraft will be entirely constructed of non-meat products. Boeing stock soared on the news. Read more

ALTERNATIVE PUERTO RICO THRIVING AFTER HURRICANE MARIA

White House officials today said President Trump’s claim that his handling of Hurricane Maria was a “tremendous success” was a reference to Alternative Puerto Rico, a land where 3,000 people… Read more
Fuck No Tallahassee

MORNING SHOW ‘FUCK NO, TALLAHASSEE’ TOPS TV RATINGS

Just a month after changing its name from ‘Good Day, Tallahassee’ to ‘Fuck No, Tallahassee,’ WFPE’s early morning show has become north Florida's number one morning TV program. Read more

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

PRES. TRUMP: We’ll call ‘em cinderbacks. Or wetbricks. SESSIONS: We can poll the base to see which makes them angrier. Read more

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to keep Russia from interfering with democracy, the Trump administration today announced it has cancelled the 2018 mid-term elections. Read more

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian troops to root out the so-called “Deep State” within the U.S. government. Read more

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the state’s Republican leaders said they may reconsider their recent decision to… Read more

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. Read more

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

FATHER: Son, did you steal $20 from your mother’s purse? SON: No. Read more
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