Briefs in a Brief

Leeds, England ( – The British Beef Export Council, finally conceding it cannot guarantee the eradication of Mad Cow Disease, announced today it will discontinue cow production and instead promote the export of genetically-engineered sheep with razor-sharp, serrated edges. Consumer advocates immediately protested, arguing that serrated sheep were more dangerous than infected cows. Farmersm however, said it’s too soon to judge, as for the present, they “can’t get near the fluffy bastards.”

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