Net Poet Laureate Mixes Passion, Malice in garden of e(den of equity)
NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – When e.e. commerce last released a collection of poems, the NASDAQ was at 5,000, profits were an unnecessary evil, and e-commerce was a respected business model.
Times have changed, but where others see enclosing darkness, the renowned Poet Laureate of the Internet continues to see only endless promise.
Or, as he phrases it in the title work “garden of e(den of equity)”:
you say(youbray) the sky-is-black but
see lights the nightstars,pulsating,lovers in the ether
net, hear their startupstarsong
comehither com-hither hither.com
Unquestionably, commerce is a Web apologist, but in these anxious times, garden of e(den of equity) might be just what the faithful need. Using his trademark sundered syntax and oft-salacious style, his new collection offers hope and prosperity to legions of e-commerce workers, and unleashes unapologetic vitriol on the pundits and analysts who forecast death for all that is e.
In “enter doubdotcom,” for instance, commerce is particularly harsh on those whose negativity has weighed heavily on the market.
enter doubtdotcom(bloodied borehound you)
sing your naysaysong
winter has come:spring was an illusion?
You sew the shroud and so
encased sew not
the seeds(buried in your whorefrost:flowering only in dreams)
cdNow shall be cdAgain
(and you-whiteboy suitgirl
,you will dance fullhipped to their tunes)
This intensity dominates commerce’s work, such as in “etoys is a STRONGBUY,” (see inset), where he trades his taskmaster’s whip for the pom poms of the valuation cheerleader. He can even be intensely apathetic, as he is in “brea kup,” in which commerce shares his thoughts on the possible split of Microsoft.
But it is “say boo,” the poet’s uplifting, “what-me-worry” ode to e-commerce workers still on the job, that will likely make it onto the bulletin boards of struggling Net firms around the world. Alluding to Boo.com, the British online retailer that announced it will file for bankruptcy, and other dot.coms that have cut stuff, such as AltaVista and CarOrder.com, commerce reminds the devout that despite the downturn, e-ishness is, as he says, still unflowering.
say boo) but flinchnot
am notspooked by
this w i r i
l d d e
notspooked by cut(knives daggers,what sentiment is
this wasnever tulips(sweet ephemeral:not e-phemeral)
where there is.
build o u t
the worms feastnow;
but not onyou:celebrate
Commerce is, it must be said, not for everybody. But whether you share his vision of the Internet or not, it is hard to argue with his long-time colleague, DSLiot, who writes in the book’s forward: “to understand e.e. is to experience Carmen Miranda. As his words rumba before you, you stare, agape, at the ripe, overflowing fruit basket that is his head, and you wonder, ‘My God, how does that thing stay up without falling?”
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