RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO "BE IN TOP 10"

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at… Read more

OY, YOU NEVER VISIT YOUR MOTHER'S WEB SITE

Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) -- I'm thinking of divorcing your father. Oh, you didn't know that, Mr. I-have-no-time-for-the-woman-who-bore-me-and-taught-me-HTML? Well, if you ever bothered to drop by your mother's web site, just… Read more

SCIENTISTS TO STUDY GIANT ASTEROIDS BY STEERING THEM INTO EARTH

London (SatireWire.com) -- Disappointed after failing to take advantage of Earth's relatively near miss with a large asteroid on Monday, scientists today excitedly unveiled what they called an "asteroid chute"… Read more

CAR PHONE SAFETY: SCREAM "AAHH!" BEFORE IMPACT

Cell Phone Industry Group Launches Public Service Campaign NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Under pressure to do something about car accidents involving cell phones, the industry-backed Cell Phone Safety Council… Read more

2000 THE INTERNET YEAR IN REVIEW: April – June

APRIL ¤ U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson rules Microsoft violated antitrust laws by leveraging its monopoly position in operating systems to capture other software markets. Microsoft orders partners and… Read more

M.I.T. SPAM STUDY FINDS INSTANT WEALTH, SEXY COEDS JUST A CLICK AWAY!

Generous Offers to Share Secrets Restore Researchers’ Faith in Humanity CAMBRIDGE, MASS. (SatireWire.com) – A two-year M.I.T. study of unsolicited email, or “spam,” has concluded that you can earn $50,000… Read more

GORE PUTS INTERNET UP FOR SALE ON EBAY

Expects $400 Billion Bid for His Baby WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Vice President Al Gore has put the Internet up for sale on auction site eBay, explaining that while he… Read more

THE CULTURAL WEB: CLICK HERE FOR BUSTY… BRAHMS

SatireWire Takes a Tour of Our Culturally-Enriching Internet ON THE INTERNET (SatireWire.com) – Web pages containing the phrase “I love money” outnumber those containing the phrase “I love Monet” by… Read more

Sites Offer Large Print for Old People

Sarasota, Fla. (SatireWire.com) – Reacting to new studies claiming people aged 55 and older are the fastest growing segment of new Internet users, hundreds of Web sites have begun offering… Read more

AOL Offers 25 Years Free Access For First Month

Dulles, Va. (SatireWire.com) – America Online, which recently launched a membership drive offering 700 hours of free Internet access in the first month, outdid itself today by announcing that new… Read more
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