BUSH LAYS OUT TOUGH TERMS FOR PALESTINE TO MAKE WORLD CUP BY 2006

Arab Neighbors Suddenly Opposed to New Country in Qualifying Rounds Kananaskis, Canada (SatireWire.com) – U.S. President George Bush today said Palestinians should elect new leaders and adopt sweeping reforms if… Read more

EUROPE NOT USED TO NOT BEING IGNORED

G.E.’s Acquiescence Threatens Delicate Balance of Transatlantic Mutual Disdain The Hague (SatireWire.com) – Europe and the U.S. are said to be furious with General Electric after the American firm hinted… Read more

John Howard Says Name Not Euphemism

Sydney (SatireWire.com) – Australian Prime Minister John Howard today insisted his name is real and is not a euphemism or nickname for any part of his anatomy. Howard was forced… Read more

French Strike for Greater Productivity

Paris (SatireWire.com) – Angered over reports that California’s economy has surpassed that of France, dozens of French labor unions staged a massive, nationwide strike Friday, demanding the government investigate possible… Read more

GREENPEACE WILL NOW OPPOSE EVERYTHING

Wendy Is Not a Dolphin, But Robert Is “It’s all bad, it all needs to stop,” said a Greenpeace spokesperson, who added the group will no longer send out action… Read more

SOMALIS LIVE IN FEAR OF LOOMING INTERNET BUBBLE

Rival Tribe Leaders Claim They Can Stop Giant Bubble from Devestation MOGADISHU, SOMALIA (SatireWire.com) – Red Cross officials in Somalia, which in September became the last African nation to go… Read more

French Successfully Increase Enmity Toward French

Paris (SatireWire.com) – The French, apparently concerned that the world’s antipathy toward them might soften, handed a victory Sunday to ultra nationalist Jean-Marie Le Pen, who will now take on… Read more

Argentine Minsiter Hated That Dog

Buenos Aires, Argentina (SatireWire.com) – Argentine Economy Minister Domingo Cavallo, who last week said he wanted to tie the Argentine peso to both the dollar and the euro, changed his… Read more

AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND "LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST"

Citing High Recidivism Rates, However, Conservatives Still Call for Death Hindu Kush, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Arguing the death penalty has not proven to be an effective deterrent, the staunchly liberal… Read more

EC THINK TANK: LEGALISE INTERNET

Plan Would Keep Europe ‘Right in There’ with Afghanis BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – Despite strong opposition from the French government, a joint European Community think tank has concluded the “Internet” –… Read more
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