CEO Surprises Employees

Denver, Colo (SatireWire.com) – As the CEO of b2b software firm Archimetrix, Janine Radcliffe had a serious new economy problem. Despite organizing action teams to implement action plans, despite reducing… Read more

2001 Mazda Metaphor a Hit with Symbolic Car Buyers

Detriot, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Targeting consumers who would like a new car but can’t afford one, Mazda yesterday introduced the 2001 Metaphor – a vehicle the company described as a… Read more

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – As part of the staff cuts it announced yesterday, online auction site eBay said it will not release its employees outright, but will auction them… Read more

KELLOGG'S NAILED FOR BUNDLING

Battle Creek, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Emboldened by its success against Microsoft, the U.S. Justice Department yesterday accused cereal giant Kellogg’s of “anti-competitive, anti-consumer” practices related to the bundling of small… Read more

ELLISON TO GRADS: DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS

Oracle CEO Urges Students to Drop out, Start up NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – In one of the more controversial commencement addresses in memory, Oracle CEO and college dropout Larry… Read more

ENRON ADMITS IT'S REALLY ARGENTINA

Now Massive Ineptitude, Corruption Make More Sense, Analysts Say Houston, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Energy company Enron, which collapsed due to gross mismanagement and insurmountable debt, today confessed to what many… Read more

GOD TAKES STAKE IN FORD

Analysts Quickly Up Earnings Estimates DEARBORN, MICH. (SatireWire.com) – Ford’s stock quadrupled yesterday after the automotive giant announced it agreed to sell 20 percent of the company to the Lord… Read more

DOTCOM CHAIN LETTER REALLY WORKS!

With a Minimal Investment, Net Companies Finally Raking in Real Cash! *********************************************************** DO NOT DELETE THIS! Print it, and read it! THIS “PROGRAM” REALLY WORKS!! ***************************************************************** A GENUINE PERSONAL NOTE… Read more

Airline's New "Fly, Goddamnit" Campaign Not Taking Off

Chicago (SatireWire.com) – Marketing executives from United Airlines said today they are still searching for just the right tone to lure the public back into the skies after their new… Read more

Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of… Read more
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