Consumer Confidence Erodes, Falls into Ocean

Briefs in a BriefNags Head, N.C. ( – Consumer Confidence, noticeably eroding over the past several months, finally succumbed today as a giant wave of economic uncertainty sent it toppling into the Atlantic Ocean. Federal officials, who just weeks ago unveiled a $23 million plan to relocate Consumer Confidence further inland to avoid just such a fate, were disappointed. But environmentalist and taxpayer groups were not above saying ‘I told you so.’

“Erosion is a natural process, and Consumer Confidence is one of our most important economic measurements,” noted Sierra Club spokesman Robert Sehada. “So it’s a fair question to ask, ‘What the hell was it doing on the Outer Banks of North Carolina in the first place?'”

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