Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of… Read more

Vision of Greenspan Sighted in Tree

Eckbridge, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – Thousands of fiscally-orthodox bankers and economists gathered under a tree in this small southwestern Pennsylvania farm yesterday after three local girls claimed they saw a vision… Read more

Yahoo Beats Analysts' Estimates, Dogs

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Internet giant Yahoo!, which this week soundly beat analysts’ estimates, reportedly wasn’t satisfied and beat analysts’ dogs as well. Some analysts even reported getting wedgies.… Read more

VENEZUELA V. IMF

VENEZUELA V. IMF, ROUND I Caracas (Satirewire.com) – In the face of increasing pressure from the International Monetary Fund to get its finances in order, the Venezuelan Finance Ministry announced… Read more

AT&T NOT IN SERVICE AT THIS TIME

Cutback Program’s ‘Remarkable Success’ Cited for Demise NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Less than one year after AT&T’s surprise decision to eliminate 120 percent of its workforce, (see story), the… Read more

CONGRESS FORBIDS ECONOMY TO RECOVER UNTIL CONGRESS PASSES BILL TO HELP ECONOMY RECOVER

“Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott, the Republican leader, said he thought that `we need to fish or cut bait (on a stimulus package) this coming week’ because there are indications the… Read more

MOSKOWITZS AGAIN TOP SALARY SURVEY

‘Robert Moskowitz’ now 4th Most Popular Name for Newborns DENVER, COL. (SatireWire.com) – The average salary for people named Robert Moskowitz continues to outpace the per capita income of the… Read more

WOULD PRICELINE OR YAHOO GET FUNDED TODAY?

How Venture Capitalists Would React If Today’s Big-Shots Were Start-Ups STAMFORD, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – It’s often said that if someone approached the FDA with aspirin today, the product would never… Read more

Lucent Stays Focused on Losing Money

Murray Hill, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – In the most hopeful sign yet that the American economy may be returning to normal, Lucent Technologies posted another staggering quarterly loss on Tuesday. Lucent… Read more

GE Succession Losers Demand Recount

Fairfield, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – The two General Electric executives who lost out when GE’s Jack Welch named Jeffrey Immelt to succeed him as CEO demanded that Welch recount his vote… Read more
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