Newark, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Continental Airlines, concerned over studies linking car phone use to traffic accidents, today moved to preempt similar incidents in the sky by banning the use of…
Read more
Largest Merger in Media History Seen as Historic, Revolutionary, Whatever DULLES, VA. (SatireWire.com) – Continually bombarded by news that the AOL-Time Warner merger would create the world’s first fully integrated…
Read more
Bush Urges Unemployed to Be Patriotic, Stay Unemployed Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – A bleak jobless claims report released Thursday put the number of out of work Americans at its highest…
Read more
Sardonic, Resentful Laughter Awaits Dotcommers Who Let Go Anger, Says Report Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Whether you’ve lost your job at a dotcom or your money investing in one, …
Read more
Most Aggressive Move Yet Would Thin Out ‘Overgrown’ Sector WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Comparing the Internet to an uncontrolled and overcrowded forest, the Federal Reserve today authorized a “prescribed burn”…
Read more
Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a new Gallup poll on the dehumanizing aspects of job loss, nearly 85 percent of the nation’s 2.96 million unemployed said they “agreed somewhat” or…
Read more
New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise concession, the Internet Advertising Bureau today acknowledged the banner ad is dead, but expressed confidence that its latest innovation, “Sponsorship Rectangles,” will…
Read more
Austin, Texas (SatireWire.com) – In an apparent effort to win support from the Internet industry, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman sat shiva yesterday with executives of online furniture retailer…
Read more
Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) – Tobacco companies insisted today the record $145 billion verdict against them will bankrupt the industry, but victorious plaintiffs refused to let the enemy off the hook…
Read more
New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Internet audience measurement firm Media Metrix, seeking to differentiate itself from competitors NetRatings and PC Data, announced yesterday it will no longer use the term…
Read more