Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After a three-year battle, the Securities & Exchange Commission today ordered brokerage firm Morgan Stanley Dean Witter to stop measuring success “one investor at a time,”…
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Redwood City, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – Spokespersons for Phone.com and Software.com, which plan to merge in a $6.4 billion deal, insisted today the combined merger won’t lead to a surplus excess…
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Chicago, Ill. (SatireWire.com) – The world’s biggest chewing gum maker today unveiled Wrigley’s Internet Bubble Gum®, the “irrationally overpriced gum” that produces an “unsustainably large” bubble. The gum, which went…
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Dubai, United Arab Emirates (Satirewire.com) – In the face of worldwide anger over steep oil prices, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries today voted to increase production to 50 billion…
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New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Boasting “The Gray Lady is a lady no more,” Howard Stern’s Private Parts Media Corp. announced today it will buy The New York Times and…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In a deft legal maneuver, lawyers representing Martha Stewart todaydemanded that investigations of the uber domestician be dropped, pointing out that U.S. securities laws only…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Brian Hogan, a perennial Wall Street bear who has been predicting a stock market decline since early 1997, is acting like a complete ass now…
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San Francisco, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Executives at nearly a dozen flailing Internet companies said today they were “sick and tired” of all the analogies to the CBS show Survivor, and…
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Seattle, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Less than a week after Amazon.com fixed a pricing error that enabled customers to buy toys at deep discounts, the company announced today that due to…
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Elk Grove, Ill. (SatireWire.com) – The pending merger of United Airlines and U.S. Air hit a snag yesterday after a planned mid-air collision between United and U.S. Air jets suggested…
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