Martha Stewart Says Laws Only Apply To People

New York, N.Y. ( – In a deft legal maneuver, lawyers representing Martha Stewart todaydemanded that investigations of the uber domestician be dropped, pointing out that U.S. securities laws only… Read more

Michael Jackson Still Thinks He's Black

New York, N.Y. ( – Appearing with the Rev. Al Sharpton over the weekend, pop star Michael Jackson slammed the music industry for its treatment of black artists, saying generations… Read more

Wall Street Suffers Worst Setback Since Yesterday

New York, N.Y. ( – Stocks took another beating yesterday in what analysts are now calling the worst day on Wall Street since the day before yesterday. The Dow Jones… Read more

Spain, Morocco Fight Over, Have Same IQ As, Rock

Bel Younech, Morocco ( – Morocco and Spain said today they would not reoccupy a tiny outcropping of rock the two government have been fighting over in a dispute over… Read more

Bin Laden Hit Hard By News Of His Death

Washington, D.C ( – News this week from the FBI’s top official for counterterrorism that Osama bin Laden was “probably not with us anymore” has shaken the al Qaeda leader,… Read more

Zimbabwe Changes Name to AAA Zimbabwe

Harare, AAA Zimbabwe ( – Zimbabwe today officially changed its name to AAA Zimbabwe, vaulting 188 places in the United Nations Membership Directory in an attempt to catch the eye… Read more

Report That Pessimists Die Sooner No Big Surprise to Pessimists

“People who are overly pessimistic tend to have worse health long-term than their more positive peers, US researchers report.” – Reuters, Aug. 13 New York ( – A study issued… Read more

Nuke Waste Repository Could Turn Moon Into Wasteland

Reno, Nev. ( – President Bush blasted a plan unveiled Thursday that calls for depositing nuclear waste on the Moon, arguing the radioactive material could turn the lunar surface into… Read more


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Hello, My name is William Lansing. Right now, I am the Chief Executive Officer of a company called NBC Internet, or NBCi. But I might not be for long. You… Read more
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