FBI Offers Reward for Whereabouts Of FBI Investigation

Briefs in a BriefWashington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – More than six months after several letters containing weaponized anthrax were mailed across the country, FBI director Robert Mueller today announced his agency would offer a $2.5 million reward for reliable information on the whereabouts of the FBI’s anthrax investigation.

During a briefing at FBI headquarters, Mueller said he vaguely recalled having instructed one of his subordinates to begin such an investigation, “a while back,” but confessed that since then, he had “not really heard much about it” and “couldn’t even remember what it looked like.”

Anyone with information about the investigation is encouraged to contact their local field agent, or mail a letter to the FBI. “We’re really anxious to hear from you, so you can even send a letter anonymously if you want,” said Mueller. “No, wait… that’s ringing a bell.”

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