Bush Calls For Mideast Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

Briefs in a Brief

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Complaining that the window of opportunity was closing, an exasperated President Bush today called on Israelis and Palestinians to declare an immediate cease fire in order to allow the United States to invade Iraq.

“Look, I understand you guys have problems, but the more you fight, the more awkward it is for us to get Arab support,” Bush said. “So if you guys could just hold off for a few days, we’ll run in there, do our thing, and get out.”

In telephone conversations with Bush, however, neither Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon nor Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat appeared to be moved by the President’s further lament that America now has 80,000 troops in the region, “and the catering bill alone is killing me.”

Instead, Sharon suggested Bush seek approval from Arab nations by blowing up Arab nations, while Arafat suggested the President could get his way by blowing up himself.

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