AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND "LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST"

Citing High Recidivism Rates, However, Conservatives Still Call for Death Hindu Kush, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Arguing the death penalty has not proven to be an effective deterrent, the staunchly liberal… Read more

EC THINK TANK: LEGALISE INTERNET

Plan Would Keep Europe ‘Right in There’ with Afghanis BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – Despite strong opposition from the French government, a joint European Community think tank has concluded the “Internet” –… Read more

Australia Reclassifies Refugee Detainment as Sport

Woomera, Australia (SatireWire.com) – In a deft maneuver that effectively puts an end to protests over its policy of mandatory detention for refugees, the Australian government today declared the confinement… Read more

Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl once again finished dead last in the latest PornoMetrix survey, which tracks the use of naked celebrity images on pornographic sites.… Read more

U.S., RUSSIA SIGN HISTORIC NUKE TREATY NEITHER SIDE PLANS TO ABIDE BY

Russia Can Include Warheads “It Can’t Find Just Now” in Cutbacks Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The United States and Russia Friday signed a treaty to dramatically reduce their nuclear arsenals,… Read more

Bush Calls For Mideast Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Complaining that the window of opportunity was closing, an exasperated President Bush today called on Israelis and Palestinians to declare an immediate cease fire in order… Read more

Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual State For Only $49.95 a Month

Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Proposing a compromise he hopes will ensure his nation’s security, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak announced Israel will allow the Palestinians to form an independent nation, but… Read more

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead… Read more

RICH AWED BY POOR'S ABILITY TO LIVE LIKE THAT

“No Way We Could Do It,” Say Leaders of Wealthy Nations Monterrey, Mexico (SatireWire.com) – At a United Nations conference last week to address world poverty, dozens of leaders from… Read more

Ships, Thatcher, No Longer "She"

London (SatireWire.com) – The shipping industry newspaper Lloyd’s List, one of the world’s oldest publications, announced Wednesday it will no longer use the feminine pronoun “she” when referring to ships,… Read more
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