NYC STREETS PRE-LINED WITH PEOPLE FOR MARATHON

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) – The New York City Marathon will go on as planned Sunday because nothing says New York is back to normal like thousands of perfectly healthy individuals… Read more

(FAKE) FACT-CHECKING THE DEBATE

BOCA RATON, FL (SatireWire.com) – President Obama did not apologize to the world but did have make-up sex with India, while Mitt Romney supports Israel so much he wants to… Read more

FBI LAUNCHES OWN AL QAEDA CELL TO LURE WOULD-BE TERRORISTS

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- In an effort to streamline terrorist sting operations, the FBI today said it has launched its own al Qaeda cell, which is much better funded… Read more

MATH COMMITS SUICIDE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Math – the universal science of number, quantity, shape, and space – was found dead in a Dupont Circle hotel room this morning, the apparent victim… Read more

SKYDIVER BREAKS RECORD FOR FREE-FALL SWEARING

ROSWELL, N.M. (SatireWire.com) -- In a giant leap from the edge of space Sunday, Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner shattered records for supersonic speed, high altitude jumping, and free-fall swearing in… Read more

ROMNEY, IN DRAG, DENIES HE HAS TACKED TOO FAR LEFT

SAN FRANCISCO (SatireWire.com) – In a spirited stump speech today, Mitt Romney denied he has changed positions or tacked to the left, although observers couldn’t help but notice the Governor… Read more

SURVEY MORE OR LESS SAYS HALF OF AMERICANS GOING TO HELL

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- For the first time in the nation’s history, the majority of Americans are not Protestant and are therefore going to hell, a new Pew Research poll… Read more

NORTH KOREA WARNS MISSILES CAN REACH U.S. IN 2 DAYS VIA UPS

PYONGYANG (SatireWire.com) -- Reacting to South Korea’s recent deal with the United States to extend the range of its missiles, North Korea surprised the world Tuesday by claiming it now… Read more

JOB NUMBERS MORE FUCKING CONFUSING THAN EXPECTED

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The unemployment rate in September dropped to 7.8 percent while manufacturing job losses rose and temporary jobs declined and total jobs rose, numbers that analysts said… Read more

KITCHENAID APOLOGIZES FOR OFFENSIVE TWEET, APPLIANCES

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- After apologizing for a company tweet that mocked the death of Barack Obama’s grandmother, KitchenAid today confessed it also sells a food processor that makes fun of… Read more
WordPress Appliance - Powered by TurnKey Linux