WORLD'S MOST IGNORED LEADER WILL BE MISSED THEORETICALLY

VATICAN CITY (SatireWire) -- The leader of the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics officially resigned Thursday unless you define ‘Catholics’ as "people who actually practice Catholicism” and ‘leader’ as “person you… Read more

SO WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO EAT ME? by A HORSE

(SatireWire.com) -- So, you people are outraged that horse meat is ending up in your precious cow meat. You’re furious. You’re disgusted. But hey, you know what else you are?… Read more

PISTORIUS ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS GUARD, FEARING HE WAS STALKER

PRETORIA (SatireWire.com) -- Murder suspect Oscar Pistorius, who claims he accidentally gunned down his girlfriend in the bathroom because he feared she was a burglar, mistakenly shot his police escort… Read more

REPORTS POSTED ACROSS INTERNET PROVE CHINA INNOCENT OF HACKING

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- The People’s Republic of China has never hacked into corporate computers or web sites and any claims to the contrary are completely false, according to a… Read more

SLAP-A-TIKE DAY CARE CENTERS SUDDENLY UNDER SCRUTINY

CHARLOTTE, NC (SatireWire.com) -- Public outrage over a 60-year-old man who allegedly slapped a toddler on a Delta flight has put Slap-a-Tike Day Care Centers on the defensive, with many… Read more

ROCK HARD ASTEROID LONGS TO EXPLODE ALL OVER EARTH

"C'mon baby, you know you want me," says Asteroid 2012 DA14 Read more

PEACE CORPS EXPANDS TO COVER SUDAN, ERITREA, CARNIVAL CRUISES

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The Peace Corps today announced it will expand its third-world missions by regularly sending volunteers to Sudan, Eritrea, and Carnival Cruise Lines. Read more

PAPAL FRONTRUNNERS EXPOSED (not like that)

VATICAN CITY (SatireWire.com) -- Here are the leading candidates to replace Pope Benedict XVI, arranged in random order, unless you don't believe in random, in which case the first guy… Read more

STEVEN CHU SULKING OVER U.S. GOVT NOT GETTING WIPED OUT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Sulking Energy Secretary Steven Chu, the cabinet member designated to sit out the State of the Union address in the event the entire U.S. leadership was… Read more

BOEING INTRODUCES THE NEW 797 DREAMDRONE

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- Targeting the growing drone market, Boeing today unveiled the 797 Dreamdrone, describing it as the largest, most comfortable and passenger-friendly unmanned aircraft ever made and not at… Read more
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