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Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Beaten

Briefs in a BriefHarare, Zimbabwe (SatireWire.com) – Asked to comment Thursday about his loss to Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe in this week’s election, which has been called a fraud by many in the West, opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai said he was “shocked.”

Tsvangirai added that he was also beaten, kicked, bludgeoned, arrested for treason, and left for dead on the side of the road. Mugabe is expected to file vagrancy charges against Tsvangirai if he doesn’t move by morning.

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