AOL Offers 25 Years Free Access For First Month

Dulles, Va. (SatireWire.com) – America Online, which recently launched a membership drive offering 700 hours of free Internet access in the first month, outdid itself today by announcing that new… Read more

Priceline Launches "Name Price for Bail"

Stamford, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Priceline.com, which allows consumers to name their own price for airline tickets and mortgages, will launch a name-your-own-price for bail service, the company disclosed today. The… Read more

CMGI + Napster = Wow – Wow

Andover, Mass. (SatireWire.com) – In a $1.1 billion deal, Internet holding company CMGI today announced it would merge with online music site Napster to create a company that no one… Read more

Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl once again finished dead last in the latest PornoMetrix survey, which tracks the use of naked celebrity images on pornographic sites.… Read more

"AOL of Latin America" Adopts Busy Signal

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Building on its self-professed desire to become the “AOL of Latin America,” StarMedia CEO Fernando Espuelas said today the company will now enter a two-year… Read more

Nuke Waste Repository Could Turn Moon Into Wasteland

Reno, Nev. (SatireWire.com) – President Bush blasted a plan unveiled Thursday that calls for depositing nuclear waste on the Moon, arguing the radioactive material could turn the lunar surface into… Read more

Intel Says Not Bunch of "Fancy Dans"

Santa Clara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Chipmaker Intel this morning said a press release issued by the company yesterday stating, “We are fancy Dans with satin hands Una Paloma Blanca over… Read more

Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual State For Only $49.95 a Month

Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Proposing a compromise he hopes will ensure his nation’s security, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak announced Israel will allow the Palestinians to form an independent nation, but… Read more

MP3 TO STEAL, SELL YOUR STUFF

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Stunned that a court ruled its unauthorized distribution of music through an online database broke copyright laws, MP3.Com announced this morning it still believes in… Read more

Report That Pessimists Die Sooner No Big Surprise to Pessimists

“People who are overly pessimistic tend to have worse health long-term than their more positive peers, US researchers report.” – Reuters, Aug. 13 New York (SatireWire.com) – A study issued… Read more
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