“Factory Orders Plunge 7.5 Percent” – AP Headline, 9/01/00 Factories Also Can’t Be Purchased Online, Say Analysts WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Commerce Department yesterday reported that U.S. factory orders…
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Watches Himself “Like Hawk” to Make Sure No Corporate Secrets Stolen San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – Thirty-two-year-old security guard Eddie Dupree, laid off yesterday from semiconductor firm Broadcom, gave himself an…
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Business Slowdown Frees Up Time to Take Part in Prejudice, Discrimination Atlanta, Ga. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new federal report, Atlanta, which has long billed itself as the racially…
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“Market watchers blame much of last week’s sell-off on institutional investors. Some mutual fund managers are selling out to raise cash just in case more individual investors cash out in…
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Alternative OS Maker Used Anti-Competitive Practices Against Itself Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department Friday announced a settlement in their landmark anti-trust case that calls for…
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F.B.I. Predicts New Microsoft OS May Render Carnivore Obsolete Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – President Bush signed sweeping anti-terrorism legislation Friday that gives police unprecedented ability to search and eavesdrop by…
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Bush Urges Unemployed to Be Patriotic, Stay Unemployed Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – A bleak jobless claims report released Thursday put the number of out of work Americans at its highest…
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Rebranded Disease Gains Universal Negative Brand Imagery New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Just days after Philip Morris declared it will change its name to the Altria Group, lung cancer today…
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Big, Slow, Unwilling to Go Short Distances Under Own Power In Europe, the product will be sold under the name SegWeight Madrid, Spain (SatireWire.com) – Thrilled by the new Segway…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – After a year of intense speculation and unprecedented hype, inventor Dean Kamen on Monday unveiled the “It’s Not a Goddamn Scooter, OK?”, a revolutionary transportation…
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