“Maybe rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love … maybe they should invest in their own health care.” – Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-UT
CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) — A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) that poor Americans have to choose between buying health care and an iPhone, theorizing that the Congressman only made that comparison because the company has been charging him $10,000 per year for his mobile.
“When I heard Chaffetz say that instead of getting an iPhone, poor people should invest in their own health care, I thought that was ridiculous and heartless,’” said Apple CEO Tim Cook. “I mean, the average American spends about $10,000 a year on health care, while an iPhone costs $650. Makes no sense.”
But then, Cook said, he checked Apple’s database and discovered the problem.
“It turns out we charged Congressman Chaffetz $10,000 for his last iPhone,” he said. “And we tell him he needs a new one every year. And in fact one year we told him his phone had a catastrophic failure; just the emergency Genius Bar service set him back $12,000. Oh, and he’s still paying off the $129,000 we charged him for mobile rehab. So to him, iPhones and health care cost about the same.
“That must be why he used that example,” Cook added. “Otherwise, he’d be an idiot.”
Cook apologized for overcharging Chaffetz and promised to set things right by adopting the Republican’s own approach to affordable health care.
“We will immediately stop the discrepancy by selling all new iPhones for $10,000,” he said.
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