COURT DROPS MINIMUM I.Q. FOR EXECUTION; FLORIDA NOW AT RISK

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — The Supreme Court Tuesday struck down a Florida law that banned anyone with an IQ below 70 from being executed, a decision that effectively means half of Floridians are now eligible for the death penalty.

In 2013, 28% of Floridians shot at their IQ tests because they said they felt threatened.

The cutoff was originally put in place so that convicted murderers deemed intellectually incompetent – generally people with IQs below 70 – would not face automatic execution. By coincidence, the law also covered 49 percent of Floridians, whose IQs range from 69 down to 3rd District Congressman Ted Yoho.

Florida Deputy Attorney General Bill Vorn immediately criticized the ruling, saying it was better to put a hard number on competency rather than attempt to figure out if a criminal is reasonably competent by psychological testing.

“We absolutely need an automatic cutoff,” said Vorn. “If we just go by testing, no one in the state will ever be executed because if you choose to live in Florida, it’s just too easy to say something’s wrong with you.”

Statistical evidence appears to back up Vorn’s assertion. In a telephone poll by the Orlando Sentinel asking if those with IQs below 70 should face the death penalty, 51 percent of Florida residents said “No,” while 22 percent said “Hello” into the wrong end of the phone, 19 percent said, “Why is my leg warm?” and eight percent said, “I set myself on fire again.”

In the same poll, however, 82 percent of residents said the decision to execute those convicted of a capital crime would not affect them because they had never been to Tallahassee.

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