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Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Briefs in a Brief

Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of its employees are no more than 14 inches tall.

AMD, however, refused to allow reporters into its facilities to verify the claim. “We would, but we can’t reach the doorknobs to let you in,” spokesman Ravi Chalani said in a phone interview.

AMD’s assertion comes a day after Intel boasted it will soon pack 400 million tiny transistors on a chip running at 10GHz. The Sunnyvale-based AMD has made no such chip claim, but insisted employee size directly relates to chip size. “It’s just common sense that smaller employees will eventually translate into ever smaller chips,” said Chalani, noting that smaller employees have smaller hands and are also naturally predisposed to “think small.” Meanwhile, AMD chief executive Jerry Sanders has been working with a miniaturization coach and can now only be found with an electron microscope, Chalani added.

Citing competitive concerns, an Intel spokesman refused to reveal the average height of its workers, but a former Intel executive, speaking on condition of anonymity, said most Intel employees were between 5’2″ and 6’4″.


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