WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — The Peace Corps today announced it will expand its third-world missions by regularly sending volunteers to Sudan, Eritrea, and Carnival Cruise Lines.
“Starting in March, our young men and women will be heading into some of the most deplorable conditions on Earth, where they will encounter unimaginable squalor and deprivation,” said Peace Corps Director Aaron Williams. “Sudan and Eritrea are also very bad.”
The Peace Corps will initially train and dispatch 100 volunteers to work in the three locations, which have been plagued by years of war, disease, and the Kevin & Caruso Magic Show.
While Williams conceded it is a risk to send Peace Corp workers into dangerous territories like the horn of Africa or the Lido deck, he insisted the agency cannot turn a blind eye to human suffering like that aboard the crippled Carnival Triumph, recently towed into port in Alabama.
Carnival, however, appears to be reluctant to accept aid. In a statement, the company said the agency’s assistance was “unwelcome and unnecessary,” noting their ships only devolve into third-world countries about once a year.
Williams said the hesitation is not unexpected.
“When we first went into Nigeria in 1961, they didn’t trust us,” he explained. “In South Africa during apartheid, the government didn’t want us there. Same thing in Chile under Pinochet. But eventually we win the people over, and Carnival will come around. They have to. For the sake of human dignity, they have to.”
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