Orem, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Six-year-old Jessica Waitley, who fell into an abandoned well Monday morning and has yet to be contacted by rescuers or the television media, conceded today that her timing was lousy.
“If this happens before September, I’m gettin’ prime time with Barbara and teddy bears from N’Sync,” said the petite first-grader, her delicate voice rising like an echo from a depth of 30 feet. “I mean, I’m stuck and I’m cute. What else do I gotta be?”
“Infected,” answered a local print reporter.
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