ANCHORAGE, AK (SatireWire.com) — The possibility of a President Palin is gaining traction after a strong Tea Party showing in Congress and the sudden realization that the next presidential election will occur just weeks before the world ends anyway, on Dec. 21, 2012.
In what pundits are already calling the ‘Last Laugh Option,’ Americans increasingly say they are willing to support Palin if, before she takes office, they’ll already be dead.
A recent ABC News/Washington Post poll reflects the dramatic shift. When asked if the former Alaska governor were qualified to be president, 52 percent said she was not. When then asked if they would vote for Palin if the world were going to end shortly thereafter, 82 percent responded, ‘Oh, sure, what the fuck.’
According to the Mayan calendar, and a movie of the same name, the world will come to an end in 2012 in a cataclysm that some theorize will be worse than the movie itself. Scientists, long skeptical of impending disaster, now appear to be changing their minds, although they do agree the movie was woeful.
“I’ve been following this, and I now feel strongly that 2012 could in fact be a catastrophe,” said MIT physicist Ronald Gupta. “Wait. I was talking about Palin. What were you talking about?”
Though not officially a candidate, Palin is already touting the calamitous connection in an effort to boost her chances. Wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with “Palin and 2012: Coincidence?” she floated the idea to her Fox News viewers last week. “If I get elected president, ask yourself, ‘Is it the end of the world?’,” she said. “No. No it’s not. That comes a month later. So what I want is for all you good, hard-working, Americans out there to put ‘voting for Sarah’ on your bucket list. Ya know, a crazy thing to do before you die.”
Across the country, voters once unsure of Palin’s qualifications concede the end of time has caused them to reconsider. “My granddad always told me to laugh in the face of death,” said Natalie Stanz, a 31-year-old nurse from Ocala, Fla. “‘President Palin.’ That makes me laugh, so yeah, I’d do it.”
If the world does not end, however, some worry the joke will be on the voters.
“If she won and the Mayans were wrong and the world didn’t end, yeah, I’d probably be upset,” said Scott Wright, 45, a plumber in Brookeville, Pa. “But let’s not speculate. Hopefully, if she wins, we’ll all be dust by Christmas.”
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