Rallying around Mitt Romney in much the same way suicide jumpers rally around the ground, Republican heavyweights have continued to endorse the “inevitable” GOP presidential candidate by using such superlatives…
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MADISON, WI. (SatireWire.com) -- In a move to “keep his enemies close” while also attracting independent voters, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Severely Conservative Mitt Romney today announced he will choose…
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WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a gaffe that may cost Barack Obama the election, the White House today admitted the President slept last night, a revelation that outraged Republicans who…
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ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- Campaign-based concussions have risen 120 percent in the last month as voters across the country are repeatedly banging their heads in frustration against walls, countertops, or the…
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JACKSONVILLE, FL (SatireWire.com) – The massive solar radiation storm that struck Earth yesterday disrupted radio communications, knocked out satellite and computer systems, and shut down Mitt Romney for more than…
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COLUMBIA, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Serial forgetter Rick Perry declared victory today after successfully being able to remember all three reasons he dropped out of the GOP presidential race.
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COLUMBIA, S.C. (SatireWire.com) – Efforts to paint Mitt Romney as a heartless corporate raider were reinforced today after a 1992 videotape surfaced showing Bain Capital executives urinating on helpless, laid-off…
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DES MOINES, IOWA (SatireWire.com) -- An angry, caustic Newt Gingrich today blamed his poor showing in the Iowa caucuses on the happy, positive Newt Gingrich that tried to win without…
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