Bush Pledges Republican Internet If Elected

Philadelphia, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – In a speech accepting his party’s nomination, George W. Bush pledged to wrest control of the Internet from its creator, Vice President Al Gore, and turn… Read more

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead… Read more

U.S., RUSSIA SIGN HISTORIC NUKE TREATY NEITHER SIDE PLANS TO ABIDE BY

Russia Can Include Warheads “It Can’t Find Just Now” in Cutbacks Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The United States and Russia Friday signed a treaty to dramatically reduce their nuclear arsenals,… Read more

CONGRESS FORBIDS ECONOMY TO RECOVER UNTIL CONGRESS PASSES BILL TO HELP ECONOMY RECOVER

“Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott, the Republican leader, said he thought that `we need to fish or cut bait (on a stimulus package) this coming week’ because there are indications the… Read more

Dems Accused of Pointing Wrong Finger

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Democratic finger-pointing over how the Bush administration handled terrorist threats prior to 9/11 intensified today as Republicans accused their opponents of purposely pointing at the White… Read more

House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The anti-spam bill passed by the U.S. House of Representatives Tuesday was sent to the Senate today, but the Senate’s spam filtering software automatically determined it… Read more

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) - After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being… Read more

PENTAGON INSISTS REAL RATS NOT BEING USED

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Under withering fire from animal rights activists, who blasted the Pentagon's plan to fit live rats with electrodes so they could be steered toward hidden bombs… Read more

REVOLUTION COMES AT INCONVENIENT TIME

Lack of Bourgeoisie Cooperation, Strong TV Lineup, Turn Back Universal Uprising Everywhere (SatireWire.com) – The long-awaited Revolution, when the oppressed and disenfranchised break the chains of economic servitude and social… Read more

Ruling Lets Pilots Act All Crazy

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a long-awaited decision, the Transportation Security Administration today denied a request that would have allowed airline pilots to carry firearms in the cockpit, but said… Read more
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