Putin Says We're Indepedent, Says Media

Moscow (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising show of support, Russian television stations today said they doubted President Vladimir Putin was attempting to crush dissent on Tuesday when he shut down… Read more

Kmart Hires Arthur Andersen

Chicago (SatireWire.com) – Ailing retail giant Kmart today announced it would not have to declare bankruptcy after an audit conducted by its newly hired accounting firm, Arthur Andersen, found no… Read more

Amazon Turns Profit, Say Flying Pigs

Seattle, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Pigs flying over the frozen landscape of hell reported that online retailer Amazon.com turned in the first profit in its history on Tuesday, just moments after… Read more

India Sends Message by Invading

New Delhi, India (SatireWire.com) – In what observers say is likely to further strain already tense relations between the two countries, India today sent a stern message to neighboring Pakistan… Read more

Al Qaeda Proposes $249.98 Military Budget

Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – In response to U.S. President George Bush’s $379 billion proposed military budget, which calls for high-tech weaponry such as pilotless spy aircraft and a missile shield, al… Read more

Hooked On Phonics Files for I Pee Oh

San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – Gateway Learning Corporation, maker of Hooked On Phonics, said today it will spin off its language teaching arm in an in-ish-ul pub-lik aw-fer-ing, or I Pee… Read more

BMW Gets Blue Windscreen of Death

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft announced this week that a version of its Windows operating system will be installed in BMW’s new 7 Series cars, a move analysts say will… Read more

Israel Says Arafat Can Come Out, Really

Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, who had been confined to the West Bank city of Ramallah for three months and survived repeated Israeli attacks on his headquarters, was… Read more

Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Beaten

Harare, Zimbabwe (SatireWire.com) – Asked to comment Thursday about his loss to Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe in this week’s election, which has been called a fraud by many in the… Read more

Ships, Thatcher, No Longer "She"

London (SatireWire.com) – The shipping industry newspaper Lloyd’s List, one of the world’s oldest publications, announced Wednesday it will no longer use the feminine pronoun “she” when referring to ships,… Read more
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