KELLOGG'S NAILED FOR BUNDLING

Battle Creek, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Emboldened by its success against Microsoft, the U.S. Justice Department yesterday accused cereal giant Kellogg’s of “anti-competitive, anti-consumer” practices related to the bundling of small… Read more

FBI TARGETS PARANOID

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The FBI disclosed today that it has been systematically reading and deleting email messages sent to and from paranoid people. According to a Bureau spokesman, the… Read more

AOL PROFITS FROM GUMBOLESS SPACE

Dulles, Va. (SatireWire.com) – In his new autobiography, AOL Chairman Steve Case reveals that he never would have become interested in the Internet if space were filled with gumbo. “When… Read more

Consumer Confidence Falls; Teens Questioned

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – A pair of Brooklyn teenagers were being held on suspicion they played the old ‘duck and tumble’ trick on Consumer Confidence, which fell in June… Read more

TEARS, ANGER ON EMOTIONAL DAY FOR STOCKS

Kansas City, Mo. (Satirewire.com) – Bullish remarks by Sprint Communications caused the entire telecom sector to rise in sympathy yesterday, while energy stocks vacillated between empathy and apathy for transportation… Read more

MP3 TO STEAL, SELL YOUR STUFF

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Stunned that a court ruled its unauthorized distribution of music through an online database broke copyright laws, MP3.Com announced this morning it still believes in… Read more

"AOL of Latin America" Adopts Busy Signal

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Building on its self-professed desire to become the “AOL of Latin America,” StarMedia CEO Fernando Espuelas said today the company will now enter a two-year… Read more

Priceline Launches "Name Price for Bail"

Stamford, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Priceline.com, which allows consumers to name their own price for airline tickets and mortgages, will launch a name-your-own-price for bail service, the company disclosed today. The… Read more

LOVE BUG "WORM"; HACKERS "TWITS"

Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The International Society of Computer Hackers blasted the media yesterday for continually using the word ‘virus’ when referring to the “Love Bug” email that recently… Read more

Airlines "Dismayed" by Mid-Air Merger Test

Elk Grove, Ill. (SatireWire.com) – The pending merger of United Airlines and U.S. Air hit a snag yesterday after a planned mid-air collision between United and U.S. Air jets suggested… Read more
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