OZONE HOLE NO LONGER GROWING; WE'LL NOW HAVE MORE TIME TO BLOW SELVES UP

Polluters, Nuclear Proponents, Also Express New Spirit of Optimism Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Visibly relieved NASA scientists this week announced the hole in the ozone layer is no longer expanding,… Read more

AMERICANS GETTING BACK TO HIGHLY ALERT STATE OF NORMAL

“We are getting back to normal. We’re doing so with a new sense of awareness. And the (FBI) warning that went out today helped to heighten that sense of awareness.”… Read more

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK'S PRAYERS?

Two Months After 9/11 God Takes Yanks’ Side New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The awe and wonder over miraculous World Series victories by baseball’s New York Yankees were dampened by… Read more

U.S. TO HALT ATTACKS DURING HOLY MONTH OF HARRY POTTER MOVIE RELEASE

West Anxious to Portray War As Fight Against Terrorism, Not Harry Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing a religious backlash that could undermine international support and intensify anti-American sentiment, the United… Read more

AFGHAN MOUNTAINS SURRENDER!

Those Who Said Bombs Wasted on Mountains Proved Wrong Pamir Knot, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – After weeks of relentless bombing that has taken a devastating toll, the mountains of Afghanistan unconditionally… Read more

U.S. "GROSSLY UNPREPARED" FOR UNLIKELY THREATS

No Plans in Place to Deal with Drying Up of Oceans, Giant Moon Explosion, Or Potential for Everyone to Be Pecked to Death Like in “The Birds” Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com)… Read more

NATION PULLS TOGETHER, FALLS OVER

United We Stand, But Divided Into 2 Equal Teams Would Have Been Better Santa Barbara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Answering the call from government and civic leaders, Americans all pulled together… Read more

FORMER CANNIBALS LONGING FOR COMFORT FOOD

KUBALUVA ISLANDS (SatireWire.com) - It's not just stressed-out Americans who are finding comfort in fatty, familiar foods these days, and police on this tiny Pacific atoll have a stack of… Read more

HUMAN EMBRYO CLONED: CAN "CHAIN" STORES, "SUBDIVISIONS," BE FAR BEHIND?

Sheep-Like Inhabitants Would Prefer Similar Styles in Music, TV, Cars Berkeley, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – News that a U.S. company has cloned a human embryo has sent shock waves through the… Read more

ROBERTSON STEPS DOWN TO ENJOY PRIVATE LIFE OF INTOLERANCE

“Pat Robertson stepped down as leader of the Christian Coalition after more than a decade in charge of the conservative organization.” – AP, Dec. 6, 2001 “My Family Needs Me… Read more
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