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Wall Street Suffers Worst Setback Since Yesterday

Briefs in a Brief

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Stocks took another beating yesterday in what analysts are now calling the worst day on Wall Street since the day before yesterday.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average fell to a record low, while the Nasdaq plunged even further. The last time either average visited these levels, George W. Bush was president, Alan Greenspan was chairman of the Federal Reserve, and “Malcolm in the Middle” was still on television.

However, according to J.P. Morgan Chase analyst Richard Boden, the mood on the street is so glum the markets could easily fall right past the day before yesterday. “I’ve been in this business 30 years, and I think you have to go all the way back to last week to find sentiment so negative,” said Boden, referring to a time when George W. Bush was president, Alan Greenspan was chairman of the Federal Reserve, and “Malcolm in the Middle” was still on television.


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