ThenWear Store

Funny, unusual, and historical T-shirts and gifts
ThenWear.com from SatireWire.I Got Drunk and Voted Millard Fillmore!

Be different. Wear history. Click Here!

ThenWear.com was created by SatireWire’s Andy Marlatt, who decided to imagine what T-shirts would have looked like before T-shirts existed. And then design them with originality, flair and wit. With a plethora of items (calendars, posters, shirts, mugs, steins, mouse pads, etc.) ThenWear‘s exclusive products make great gifts for teachers, professors, students, and anyone who wants to (at least appear to) be smart.

What’s at ThenWear:
Colorful, vintage designs commemorating the most embarrassing political campaign slogans in presidential history:
** “I Got Drunk and Voted Millard Fillmore” (1856),Cuba Spring Break 1962
** For Slightly Less Corruption, Vote James Garfield” (1880),
** Re-Elect Abraham Lincoln. Give Abe Another Shot!” (1864).
** More than a dozen campaigns to choose from, including George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt, and John Quincy Adams.
Funny, artistic, and, of course, rare world and regional tour shirts from great historical figures:
** Charles Darwin‘s 1835 ‘ Evolution Tour’
** Johann Sebastian Bach’s ‘Baroque 2 Da Bone’ Tour of 1734,
** Geoffrey Chaucer’s ‘Feudalpalooza 1392’ Tour,
** Attila’s ‘Huns in the Sun’ tour of 451 A.D.Attila 'Huns in the Sun' Tour
** A dozen tours to choose from including Edgar Allan Poe, Galileo, Gen. William T. Sherman and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Be sure to check out the tour dates on the backs of the t-shirts!
Rare historic Spring Break t-shirts and items from the Cold War era:
** Soviet Union Spring Break 1952,
** East Germany Spring Break 1980,
** Czechoslovakia Spring Break 1965,
** Cuba Spring Break 1962,
** Yugoslavia Spring Break 1978.Kiss Me I'm Not Consumptive
ThenWear even goes back to Medieval times to let you wear what the Dark Ages peasant wore with vintage-inspired designs like:
** Kiss Me I’m Not Consumptive,’
** ‘Yeoman of the Month,’
** This Is What Oppressed Looks Like,’
** Have You Hugged a Harlot Today?
All ThenWear designs are exclusive, colorful, and very, very witty. Show ’em you were there back then with ThenWear!

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