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November 2000

Thursday, Nov. 30, 2000
Mornin', everybody. Guess what? I decided not to wait anymore. I'm going ahead with the transition, lining folks up. I've got Dick Cheney as my VP, Colin Powell as Secretary of State, Jim Baker will be secretary of something. Now what's left... oh duh, President! Okay, who can I appoint as President?
[Posted by G.W.] 11:53 a.m.

My brother Jeb says I can appoint him as President. I should have thought of that. Hell, he was always the smart one.
[Posted by G.W.] 2:15 p.m.

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Sorry Jeb! I talked to Jim Baker, and he says I don't need to appoint anyone else as President. That takes a load off. I guess Jim is going to do it for me.
[Posted by G.W.] 4:53 p.m.

Correction: Jim says I get to be President. Coolio.
[Posted by G.W.] 8:59 p.m.

Wednesday, Nov. 29
Has anybody seen this SETI project where they're searching for extraterratorial civilizations on people's computers? Kinda hope they don't find anything. Too many little countries with funny names as it is.
[Posted by G.W.] 9:42 a.m.

Oh, I don't know if I mentioned finding this page. Some smart aleck sent it to me. Nice try, but it won't work. Doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Made mistakes, moved on. (I thought the part about how the leaves are rich in vitamins, protein, calcium, iron and fiber was interesting, though.)
[Posted by G.W.] 3:35 p.m.

Tuesday, Nov. 28
When I get more time, I'm going to dig into this Datek site. Just glanced at it, but I saw they promise "better, faster, cheaper executions over the Internet." Hey, if they can do it even faster and cheaper than we do in Texas, I'm gonna have my attorney general check it out. Don't care so much about the "better" part. I figure once you're dead, you're dead.
[Posted by G.W.] 10:54 a.m.

Well, usually.
[Posted by G.W.] 10:56 a.m.

Monday, Nov. 27
Gadhafi's in on it now. I read where he thinks Gore and I should share the presidency. Honestly, this wouldn't work. First, I'm not speaking to Gore. Second, I kinda already had to promise Gen. Powell I'd share it with him. (Can't bring myself to call him Colin. He's really one of Dad's friends.)
[Posted by G.W.] 2:25 p.m.

Did I mention this link? Well, I wanna make it clear this drug holds no sway over me, not anymore. And that's all I'm going to say. (Thought the bit about chewing the leaves with a dash of powdered lime sounded interesting, though.)
[Posted by G.W.] 9:34 p.m.

Sunday, Nov. 26
Putting together my Christmas list, and the Internet is really a great place to shop. I already found something for the most special person in my life.
[Posted by G.W.] 8:27 a.m.

Ho, wait, hello? Does anybody in my campaign know how to add?! I just figured this out. I have 246 electoral votes now, right, and if I get 25 more from Florida, I get... 261. That's not enough! Shit. I gotta wake somebody up!
[Posted by G.W.] 11:49 p.m.

Carry the one, stupid? What does Baker mean by 'Carry the one, stupid?' And who's he calling stupid? I've got to carry more than one state, for God's sake.
[Posted by G.W.] 11:59 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 24
If you get the chance, never get advisors. They say I still need to brush up on "international" stuff. I say the debates are over, let's move on! Anyway, they made me take this stupid quiz from the U.N. site. Like there's really a city named "Ouagadougou." Who would do that? And there's no multiple choice. In my debate prep, they gave me multiple choice.
[Posted by G.W.] 11:58 a.m.

Forget that U.N. thing. Cheney's granddaughter just pointed me to this site. One smart little girl! (Possible Ambassador to U.N.? Have to see if Dick will let her live outside the country.) Oh, if you try it, start at K-4. More pictures.
[Posted by G.W.] 1:13 p.m.

Thursday, Nov. 23
God, I am stuffed and satiamated. Hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was okay. Food didn't settle well, what with this election thing still going. And my Mom was picking on Jeb again for not bagging Florida for me. I told Mom I didn't mind. Heck, I said, if I don't win, maybe Jeb could run next time. To be honest, I said, if I had won, he'd probably never get the chance to be President himself. Wowzer, Mom really glared at Jeb after that, and Jeb kinda blushed. I think he was embarrassed about me sticking up for him.
[Posted by G.W.] 8:55 p.m.

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Wednesday, Nov. 22
Cheney thought this was funny. It's this site where you warp Gore's face and mine. Dick was doing it for hours last night. Laughing so hard I thought he was going to have a heart attack.
[Posted by G.W.] 6:42 a.m.

Jesus, he was having a heart attack.
[Posted by G.W.] 1:15 p.m.

This is freaky, and it's got me worried. What happens if I get shot or something, then Dick takes over and has a heart attack? Who gets to be president then? Jeb says the governor of Florida is next in line. That would be okay, I guess.
[Posted by G.W.] 9:15 p.m.

Man, I could use a stiff drink. Just kidding! Maybe this instead. Just kidding again! That's ancient history. I never even think about it. (But that part about its 'magic powers' was interesting.)
Night everyone.
[Posted by G.W.] 6:31 p.m.

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