OH THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE

If you'd care to become a SatireWire supporter (or a member of the SatireWire firm, for the U.K. crowd), the first thing you can do is BUY SATIREWIRE'S NEW BOOK, ECONOMY OF ERRORS.

After that, we have two relatively easy-to-use options, the Amazon Honor System, which sounds very austere and commanding and comes with this rather large graphic, and PayPal, which sounds much more friendly and comes with such a small, cheery graphic that we put it up twice. Whichever you choose, we recommend either of these services, because we're using them. Why? How? See our FAQ.

And by the way, you can also support SatireWire simply by clicking on banner ads and supporting our sponsors, who support us in a vicious cycle of hope. Honestly, this really helps. And/or, you can purchase lovely and odd (but mostly odd) SatireWire giftage at the SatireWire store.

SATIREWIRE'S SUPPORT FAQ
Why We Find Ourselves Dependent on the Kindness of Strangers

What is the Honor System and what is PayPal?
Amazon and PayPal both allow you, the visitor, to show your support and/or appreciation for SatireWire with a financial contribution. To do so, you can click on one of the boxes above. The transaction is done via credit card through Amazon's or PayPal's servers.

Are they secure servers?
We believe so, but servers are not particularly introspective, so it's difficult to tell.

Is there a difference between Amazon and PayPal?
Yes. PayPal charges us much less (i.e., they take less off the top). Then again, Amazon may already have your credit card information, so unless you have a PayPal account (which is actually easy to set up), Amazon could be quicker. Or more quick. But basically it's whomever you feel comfortable with. Either way, you get to keep this site thriving.

Can't we just support you directly?
Well, if you'd rather send a check or money order, you can send to:
SatireWire
1052 Main St.
Suite 11
Branford, CT 06405

Wait, SatireWire has ads. Why should I give anything if it makes money on banner ads?
The road to Chapter 11 is paved with ad-based revenue models. As many of you know, the only models less productive are selling pet supplies online, or launching a free song-swapping service. SatireWire covers some expenses with ads, but overall, the content you see is produced at a substantial loss. We'd like to trim that down to "moderate loss."

I don't know how much to give. How much is satire worth?
As always, a good rule of thumb is to spend two months salary on satire.

PayPal doesn't have a limit, but Amazon's Honor System only allows me to give between $1 and $50.
Oh, all right then. Somewhere in there would be good. But don't expect us to wear the French maid's outfit.

The what?
Nothing.

Does SatireWire get to see my credit card information, or find out how much I gave, or who I am?
No, maybe, and maybe. We don't see your CC info - have nothing whatever to do with that. And if you give through Amazon, we don't know anything else about you either. If you use PayPal, we will be told who you are and how much you gave.

OK, why would Amazon do this with SatireWire, since SatireWire makes occasional fun of Amazon?
Shhhh...

What will my money be used for?
Including the 40-foot candied-yam spectacular?

Um...
More SatireWire. Better SatireWire. Maybe both.

That's it?
No, you can buy one of those singing fish wall plaques and pretend we gave it to you. We will also bless your toothbrush, in absentia.

How much money will SatireWire make on this deal?
No idea. But let's do some hypotheticals. If one person gives $1, SatireWire will make... $1. That would suck. But if, say, 20,000 people give $50 each, SatireWire will make, what, $1 million?

I hate to disappoint you, but you are not going to make a million dollars.
What if we threw in the maid's outfit?

Will you promise to spend at least part of my money on mental health services?
You can spell Pittsburgh without the 's' and the 'r,' but it doesn't sound right.

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