"The Nigerian (or 419) Letter is one of the oldest and most widespread scams that has ever been perpetrated on the planet." — U.S. Better Business Bureau
"Enron ... (was) possibly the greatest Ponzi scheme of all time." — TheStreet.com
ENRON CHAIRMAN QUITS TO JOIN NIGERIAN FIRM
Lagos, Nigeria (SatireWire.com) — Saying he had found a venue more worthy of his talents, Kenneth Lay resigned today as chairman of Enron to join a Nigerian government ministry which needs your confidential assistance in the transferring of offshore funds into a new company of Nigeria that will provide incredible profit on paper by the trading of energy.
The new company will be called the Energy National Resource Organization of Nigeria (E.N.R.O.N.)
According to Dr. Tunde Momoh, director of the Nigerian National Petroleum Ministry, which is coordinating the E.N.R.O.N. initiative, the addition of Lay to his staff has given a boost to all Nigerian government ministries, which now earn most of their revenues by sending confidential letters to millions of people asking for their bank account numbers so that the ministry in question can transfer $US20 million to US$60 million from a secretive Ministry fund to the recipient for safekeeping.
"We are thrilled to have now someone of Mr. Lay's experiences," said Momoh. "It is rare to find a non-Nigerian who is familiar with our methods and objectives, and his idea for the creating of the energy trading company E.N.R.O.N. is inspired."
"When I am first hearing of it, I admit it has the sound of crazy," Momah added, "but (Lay) is telling us that based on his experiences, this could work for years."
In fact, in an email sent to undisclosed recipients by Lay, who now identifies himself as a "close advisor" to the Nigerian National Petroleum Ministry, he is interested to do business with you because of credible reports that you will recognize this opportunity of great wealth. All that is required, the letter stated, is your banking accounts number and your purchase of stock of this energy trading company that has no traceable losses or shell companies or indictable irregularities of any kind.
Contacted at his confidential fax number, Lay said he was excited by the new job, and predicted he would adapt easily to Nigerian methods. "It's a new country and I've had to learn to muddle a bit my syntax, but the basic business approach is something we both have in common," he said. "I only wish I had started here first."
Lay added that, as he did at Enron, where he served as both chairman and chief executive officer, the new job will enable him to take part in several Nigerian businesses, including stints as Dr. Chukwuma Mbaduwa, an accountant in the Nigerian Transport Ministry, Abu Idomu, a top official of the federal government contract review panel, and the Lady Maryam Abacha, wife of late Gen. Sani Abacha, ex-military head of state of Nigeria, whose assets have been frozen except for $50 million she stuffed in a box labeled as photographic materials which she deposited in a security company where her brother-in-law works as general manager and she now needs your assistance in retrieving these moneys.
Click here to read the letter
Copyright © 1999-2002, SatireWire.Back to Top
SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.
Computer Reviews - Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders - Startup Ideas & Small Business Advice - Trade Suppliers Directory - Wholesale Forum - Wholesale Marketplace & Trade Suppliers - Wholesale Directory - Crazy Slots Casino