SatireWire
   
Provider of Satire
SatireWire | dot.com.edy

 

UMTHINGS
History Tour T-Shirts and UmWear. V. Funny, V. Smart

CAMEO
Cool Estate Jewelry. Impress her for once.

PunchBowl
Throw Your Best Party Yet.

FARK.COM
It's not news, it's Drew's.

BBSPOT.COM
It's not Drew, it's Brian

Flag Hill Winery

The Angel Anthony Group
e-solutions for your business



( If You'd Prefer a More Subtle Version of This Story, Click Here)

AMAZING NEW "SEGWAY HUMAN TRANSPORTER"
APPARENTLY NOT CHECKED FOR ACRONYM

Honestly, We're Not Making This SHT Up

Manchester, N.H (SatireWire.com) — After a year-long buildup during which it was known as the mysterious "Ginger" or "IT," the revolutionary, scooter-like "Segway Human Transporter" was unveiled Monday without first being checked for its potential acronym.

Really Cool SHT

As a result, the media was full of SHT stories, while investors on Wall Street were hoping inventor Dean Kamen would take his cool SHT public so they could get a piece of SHT.

Word about the electric-powered transportation machine was leaked last year, but it took more than 10 years for Kamen and his team to get their SHT together. When the device was introduced Monday on ABC's Good Morning America, riders who took an initial SHT spin were visibly impressed.

"I can't believe this SHT!" said ABC's Diane Sawyer. "It's so fun and stable and quiet. Wow. SHT."

"Boy, I hope no one's looking because I really want to take a SHT right now!" joshed good-natured co-host Charles Gibson.

Gibson will have to wait, however. The company is currently producing only a big SHT for commercial use, and won't make a little SHT for consumers until the 2002 holiday season, said Kamen.

At $3,000 each, however, the consumer model may be out of reach of all but the most generous of gift givers. "If it's three grand, there's no way I can give a SHT," said Holly Dumal of Princeton, N.J. "I wish they'd make a cheap SHT."

Kamen replied that the company would never give its SHT away, but promised a less expensive version was "definitely on our SHT list."

Also in the works: a specially designed device for use by Pope John Paul that will speed the aging pontiff around the Vatican and St. Peters Square. It's name: the Holy SHT.

CLICK HERE for SatireWire's Complete Segway/Ginger Coverage.

RECOMMEND
THIS PAGE

Copyright © 1999-2002, SatireWire.

Back to Top

UmThings: we sell, um, things

 



SatireWire: dot.com.edy
SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.

Computer Reviews - Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders - Startup Ideas & Small Business Advice - Trade Suppliers Directory - Wholesale Forum - Wholesale Marketplace & Trade Suppliers - Wholesale Directory - Crazy Slots Casino