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GLOBE.COM NUMBERS NOT SO BAD
IF IGNORED, SAYS NEW CEO

New Chief Also Vows to Throw Predecessors Out Window

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) — Charles Peck, incoming chief executive of theglobe.com, conceded yesterday that the troubled online firm is heavily in debt, but urged investors not to focus solely on the company's numbers, "because they suck."

Globe numbers don't look bad blacked out

"Clearly, if you just look at the numbers, they are very bad," said Peck, who takes over a firm whose stock has dropped 94 percent, is $86.5 million in debt, and has just $19 million in cash reserves. "However, if you do that, then you're entirely missing the point I'm trying to make, which is, 'Don't look at the numbers.'"

Asked where else investors should look, Peck suggested several possibilities, including "down," "away," and "over there." Peck also insisted that when the numbers get better, that would be a better time to look at them.

Peck succeeds theglobe's 20-something founders, Todd Krizelman and Stephan Paternot, who have been told they will become co-vice chairmen of the board, but will actually be thrown naked and bleeding out of a very high window. Tickets for that event are selling well, said Peck, but will not materially impact company earnings in the current quarter, which also suck.

According to theglobe Chairman Michael Egan, the timing of Peck's arrival is "perfect."

Index of Dot-Com Shakeout stories

"Right now, our two biggest needs are someone with a proven record of delivering profits within advertising-based business models, and someone who isn't afraid to throw Todd and Stephan out a very high window. Chuck Peck meets both needs."

Peck, a former senior vice president at the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, also vowed to "triple" the company's stock price, saying he expects it to rise to 12 cents by 2002.

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