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Nestled among gently rolling hills, Silicon Pines is proud to be the only Assisted Computing Facility in the world to practice "Degenerative Computing in Place." We provide a unique blend of housing and personal computing assistance to maintain your independence and maximize your quality of technological life, while allowing you to fall further and further behind at your own pace, without any pressure. Regardless of how technologically impaired you are, or how often your computing care needs change, you will always have a home at Silicon Pines.


At Silicon Pines, you'll feel special, but never alone or different. In fact, you'll be in the company of people at the same skill levels, and will experience planned daily activities and recreational programs geared to your interests and abilities. Our qualified professionals provide 24-hour technological care, as well as physical, occupational, and speech recognition therapy.

Sample activities include:

  • Cut & Paste Night
  • Printing for Life
  • Screensaver Hour
  • Meet Your Neighbor's Mouse
  • Puppet Show with Floppy, Zippy and Chippy
  • Old-Fashioned Defrag-A-Long


Best of all, you'll make new friends and share new experiences in computing -- but never feel anxious or frustrated. Why not? Because at Silicon Pines, we NEVER tell you to do something. We NEVER expect you to figure it out. We NEVER even SHOW you how to do it. WE JUST DO IT.

It's no surprise that "Just Do It For Them" is one of the mantras at Silicon Pines. But as senior Licensed Techcare Professional Gregg Pervis explains, there's a little more to Assisted Computing the Silicon Pines way.

"Even though we don't expect them to do anything, I like our residents to feel a sense of accomplishment, so if I'm installing a new program, I let them participate. For instance, when the program is done loading, there will be a screen that says 'Installation successful. Click OK to continue'. I could do that myself, but instead I'll turn to the resident and say, 'So, what do you think we should do here?'"

Six times out of 10, the resident will say, "Click 'OK'?" Gregg then lets them click the OK button. "You should see their faces light up," Gregg says. "It's a beautiful thing."


LTP Patty Walsh has another method, which has made her a resident favorite. "I don't push residents to launch any programs; I don't think that's right," says Patty. "But I do bend that rule." According to Patty, here's what she does:

PATTY: Hi, (Resident), would you like to launch the screen saver?
RESIDENT: Yes. What do I do?
PATTY: Sit right there and don't touch the keyboard for eight minutes.
(After the eight minutes go by, the screen saver kicks in.)
PATTY: You did it!
RESIDENT: I did it!

If this sounds good to you, or someone you know, isn't it time you considered Silicon Pines?

Silicon Pines is a fully licensed Assisting Computing Facility. We accept Compucare and Compucaid, and are approved by most Helpdesk Maintenance Organizations (HMOs).


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SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.

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