INTRO PAGE 2001 Winners STRICTLY SPAM STRICT RUNNER-UP FREESTYLE FREE RUNNER-UP 2000 Winners STRICTLY SPAM FREESTYLE SatireWire Poems THIS IS NOT SPAM! SPAM RAP GIZA WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME? CONTEST RULES

FREESTYLE CATEGORY

2000 WINNER: Emily Briggs, Ann Arbor, Mich.

SHAKESPAM

To spam, or not to spam: that is the question:
Whether 'tis slimier in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous claims,
Or to respond and create a sea of troubles,
Or, by deleting, end them

Neither a forwarder nor a spammer be;
For spam oft loses both itself and friend

But, soft! what message through yonder inbox comes?
It is the spam, and xfVa45af@yahoo.com is the sender.

The first thing we do let's kill all the spammers.

2000 RUNNER-UP: Jon Siegel, Seattle, Wash.

MORNING

Morning,
And the dawn,

I arise to the gentle burr,
My hard-drive humming,
Awaken,
Awaken,
I have news for you,

Shivering I sit,
Coffee in hand,
hoping to hear from Mom,

Mail client beeps it's alert,
Trepidation,
Has Sis had that baby yet?

Urgent!!!
The plea,
Jim is the name,
My brother?

NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Another offer of college degrees,
All for mere pennies,
MLM ooportunities abound,
Buried in avalanches of onetime,
No-cost,
Hurry now,
Never work again offers,

Disgusted,
Overwhelmed,
Delete key pounding,
Oh crap!!!!
That last one was from Mom?

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