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FARK.COM
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Flag Hill Winery

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e-solutions for your business


Poetry Spam graphic

INTRO PAGE

2001 Winners

STRICTLY SPAM

STRICT RUNNER-UP

FREESTYLE

FREE RUNNER-UP

2000 Winners

STRICTLY SPAM

FREESTYLE

SatireWire Poems

THIS IS NOT SPAM!

SPAM RAP

GIZA

WHY DON'T YOU
TRUST ME?

CONTEST RULES


SATIREWIRE'S 2ND ANNUAL POETRY SPAM

2001 FREESTYLE WINNER:
"I Answered All My Spam"
by Alex Silbajoris, Columbus, Ohio

I Answered All My Spam

I never know what I might find,
on any day I go online.
I used to get in quite a huff,
while wading through unwanted stuff.
But then I changed the man I am,
the day I answered all my spam.

Now every time I check my box,
I load up on fantastic stocks.
I'll gladly say I felt no loss,
when, with a smile, I fired my boss.
With just one click, the best thing yet,
I freed myself of all my debt.

I have, paying a few small fees,
ten university degrees.
Now that I'm losing all this weight,
I'm sure, someday, I'll get a date.
Instead of going to a show,
I spy on everyone I know.
(That's easy, since I have in hand,
this nifty wireless video cam.)

I spend my evenings viewing screens,
of barely legal horny teens.
And with a little credit charge,
Whoopee! My penis was enlarged!
Meanwhile these shots of Britney Spears
should be enough to last for years.

And so I lead this online life,
my monitor is now my wife.
It has become my greatest dream,
to launch my own get-rich-quick scheme.
And if you think you might get missed,
relax, you're on my e-mail list.


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SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.

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