From the stunningly visionary to the staggeringly stupid, these Internet startups are in the rare class of first-movers, and SatireWire wants you to be the first to know.
GuideDied.com THEY'LL GET YOU DOWN Denver, Colo. (SatireWire.com) — As he approached the dangerous Second Step on the North face of Mt. Everest, Pearce Glazier heard the scream growing louder. In an instant, his guide, now just a bluish neon blur, rushed past him, his howl quickly fading as his body disappeared into the icy mist below. Did he ever need GuideDied.com.
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VIRUSYSTEMS:
MAKING BUGS MAKE MONEY Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (SatireWire.com) — Computer viruses are among the most common, high-profile software programs in the world, yet the only people who profit from their existence are those who try to stop them. ViruSystems intends to change all that.
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E-GRIEVING.COM:
THE DIGITAL WAY TO SAY GOODBYE Chicago, Ill. (SatireWire.com) — When Kelly Posner's German aunt died late last year, she had neither the money nor the motivation to fly all the way to Munich for the funeral. But then she found out about E-grieving.com, the site that lets your heart go out while you stay put.
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PlaidDad.com EMBRACE YOUR INNER DAD Milwaukee, Wisc. (SatireWire.com) — Bob Pater was only 24 when he realized he was turning into his father. He tried to hide the changes, forcing himself to unlock his car doors while driving, pretending not to envy the neighbor's John Deere. But finally, the pressure was too great, and he came out at a friend's party, uttering the words that would later spark a Web site: "I'm plaid! I'm like my dad! I'll get used to it!"
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MyColdCalls.com You Call Telemarketers Before They Call You Louisville, Ky. (SatireWire.com) — Do you hate it when telemarketers call during dinner? In fact, do you hate it when telemarketers call at all? Now you can turn the tables by signing up with MyColdCalls.com, where you can call up a real telemarketer on your time, when you want to, all for only $2.95 a minute.
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ChiefRelief.com The Ex-Lax of PR Chicago, Ill. (SatireWire.com) — Whenever a CEO steps aside, the banalities run rampant. If he's staying on board, he will "focus on long-term corporate vision," or "new business development." If he's moving on, "the timing was right," and he will be "sorely missed" for his "invaluable contributions" that prepared the company to "go to the next level." Who, you wonder, gets paid to write this stuff? ChiefRelief.com
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GULLIBLE'S TRAVELS:
ONLINE TRAVEL "BARGAINS" FOR THE NAIVE New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) — Does 3,000 percent off an airline ticket sound good? How about a trip on the Space Shuttle for $10? If you're not among the Internet's newly-minted savvy consumers, this site is for you.
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