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Posts Tagged presidential election

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Pushed to the limits of pain by an election that was initially entertaining but has clearly gotten out of hand, Americans today are frantically trying to remember the safe word that will stop this sadistic presidential race before it [Read More]

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

CLEMSON, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Donald Trump’s increasingly toxic rhetoric reached its natural conclusion today as the Republican presidential frontrunner finished an explosive rant against Muslims, immigrants, minorities and the media by taking an actual crap on stage. [Read More]

MATH COMMITS SUICIDE

MATH COMMITS SUICIDE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Math – the universal science of number, quantity, shape, and space – was found dead in a Dupont Circle hotel room this morning, the apparent victim of suicide induced by its inability to adjust to American politics, where numbers [Read More]

ROMNEY, IN DRAG, DENIES HE HAS TACKED TOO FAR LEFT

ROMNEY, IN DRAG, DENIES HE HAS TACKED TOO FAR LEFT

SAN FRANCISCO (SatireWire.com) – In a spirited stump speech today, Mitt Romney denied he has changed positions or tacked to the left, although observers couldn’t help but notice the Governor was dressed in drag and wore a rainbow-colored U.S. lapel pin. [Read More]

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TRUMP VOWS NOT TO DEPORT ILLEGALS WHO RATE 8+

TRUMP VOWS NOT TO DEPORT ILLEGALS WHO RATE 8+

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In what it called a "show of great compassion," the Trump administration today [Read More]

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In what they called a historic compromise, Republicans in Congress today said they [Read More]

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The congressional cloakroom, where representatives and senators traditionally [Read More]

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The U.S. Secret Service today apprehended a man they said was attempting to scale [Read More]

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

Exact anagrams of the daily tweets of Mr. Sudden Sad Trout Nipple… er… U.S. President Donald Trump. [Read More]

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