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ANGRY AT WASTING $ ON VITAMINS, AMERICANS TURN TO LOTTERY TIX

ANGRY AT WASTING $ ON VITAMINS, AMERICANS TURN TO LOTTERY TIX

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) – From antibacterial soap to vitamins, Americans across the country are outraged that they’ve been wasting their hard-earned money on something not guaranteed to work, said Americans across the country waiting in line to buy lottery tickets. [Read More]

POWERBALL DROPS NUMBERS FOR SHAPES AS MATH STANDARDS FALL

POWERBALL DROPS NUMBERS FOR SHAPES AS MATH STANDARDS FALL

WEST DES MOINES, IA (SatireWire.com) – Keeping up with declining math standards in the United States, Powerball today announced it has abandoned numbers and will instead use balls painted with 59 familiar colors and shapes. [Read More]

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FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The U.S. Secret Service today apprehended a man they said was attempting to scale [Read More]

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

Exact anagrams of the daily tweets of Mr. Sudden Sad Trout Nipple… er… U.S. President Donald Trump. [Read More]

GROUNDHOG SEES HITLER’S SHADOW

GROUNDHOG SEES HITLER’S SHADOW

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA (SatireWire.com) – In what many are taking as a bad omen, famed prognosticating groundhog [Read More]

HEY HUMANS, IT’S NOT SO FUNNY TO LOOK LIKE THIS FOR REAL, IS IT?

HEY HUMANS, IT’S NOT SO FUNNY TO LOOK LIKE THIS FOR REAL, IS IT?

By A. Deer -- Oh yes, I’m enjoying this. I really am. For as long as I can remember, humans have said things like, [Read More]

WHITE HOUSE GUARDS TOLD TO STOP ASKING VISITORS ‘ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA GO IN THERE?’

WHITE HOUSE GUARDS TOLD TO STOP ASKING VISITORS ‘ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA GO IN THERE?’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- After repeated warnings, Secret Service police manning the White House entrances [Read More]

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