Posts Tagged gun control
WEINER DEBACLE SPARKS NATIONAL PENIS-CONTROL DEBATE
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The Anthony Weiner sexting scandal has ignited a heated debate over penis control as advocates demand regulations to reduce penis-related offences, while pro-penis groups fight to protect their groin-given rights. [Read More]
AFTER BOMBINGS, NATION SETTLES DOWN TO RESUME SHOOTING ITSELF
SEATTLE (SatireWire.com) -- After a tragic week that saw terrorist bombs strike the heart of Boston, Americans are breathing a sigh of relief today that the worst is over and they can go back to simply shooting each other. [Read More]
SENATORS BID EMOTIONAL FAREWELL TO THEIR BALLS
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a solemn, often plaintive ceremony tinged with ineludible regret, 40 United States senators bid an emotional farewell to their balls Wednesday, moments before siding with the gun lobby to vote down a bill expanding background checks [Read More]
NRA TO GUN OWNERS: BUY 2ND GUN TO PROTECT SELF FROM 1ST GUN
FAIRFAX, VA (SatireWire.com) – Conceding a firearm in the home increases the risk of gun-related violence, but sticking to their belief that the only way to stop someone with a gun is with a gun, the NRA today suggested firearm owners buy a second gun to protect [Read More]
CITY ALSO PASSES LAW REQUIRING RESIDENTS TO TALK ALL THE TIME
NELSON, GA (SatireWire.com) -- One day after standing up for the Second Amendment by passing a law making gun ownership mandatory, the city of Nelson, Ga., today applied the same ironclad logic to First Amendment free speech and enacted a law requiring its 1,300 residents [Read More]
LAPIERRE SURPRISES CPAC CROWD WITH NEW GUNS UNDER SEATS
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- NRA chief executive Wayne LaPierre ended a rousing anti-gun-control speech at CPAC Friday by surprising his unsuspecting audience with new handguns, which had been taped under their seats, Oprah-style. [Read More]
