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COURT DROPS MINIMUM I.Q. FOR EXECUTION; FLORIDA NOW AT RISK

COURT DROPS MINIMUM I.Q. FOR EXECUTION; FLORIDA NOW AT RISK

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The Supreme Court Tuesday struck down a Florida law that banned anyone with an IQ below 70 from being executed, a decision that effectively means half of Floridians are now eligible for the death penalty. [Read More]

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) -- After claiming the right to seize Crimea because of its Russian heritage, President Vladimir Putin announced today he will also have to annex St. Petersburg, Fla., Moscow, Idaho, Odessa, Texas, Siberia, Ind., and the Russian River Valley in [Read More]

FLORIDA’S NEWEST AMUSEMENT PARK: “SINKHOLELAND”

FLORIDA’S NEWEST AMUSEMENT PARK: “SINKHOLELAND”

DADE CITY, FL (SatireWire.com) – Cinderella’s Missing Castle, Unnerving Journey to the Center of the Earth, Pirates of the Caribbeneath, Spelunk-a-Dunk – the rides at Florida’s SinkholeLand Amusement Park are finally open for business. Wide open, in fact. [Read More]

FLORIDA CLOSED FOR MENTAL REPAIRS

FLORIDA CLOSED FOR MENTAL REPAIRS

ORLANDO, FL (SatireWire.com) -- The state of Florida will be closed for mental repairs until further notice, the National Institutes of Health announced today. [Read More]

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TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

PRES. TRUMP: We’ll call ‘em cinderbacks. Or wetbricks. SESSIONS: We can poll the base to see which makes them [Read More]

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to keep Russia from interfering with democracy, the Trump administration today [Read More]

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

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