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Posts Tagged congress

U.S. OFFERS TO WASH DISHES, MOW LAWNS TO PAY OFF BILL

U.S. OFFERS TO WASH DISHES, MOW LAWNS TO PAY OFF BILL

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to reassure nervous creditors, the U.S. today unveiled a backup plan for paying off its debts, promising to wash 100 trillion dishes as well clean out Taiwan's attic, babysit for Switzerland, and mow China’s lawn for, [Read More]

CONGRESS FITTED WITH CONDOM SO IT CAN SCREW AMERICA SAFELY

CONGRESS FITTED WITH CONDOM SO IT CAN SCREW AMERICA SAFELY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Public health officials sheathed the Capitol Dome in a 55,000-square-foot latex condom today, explaining that if Congress is going to screw the country, it should at least do so responsibly. [Read More]

CONGRESS RECLASSIFIES MISSISSIPPI RIVER AS PLANET

CONGRESS RECLASSIFIES MISSISSIPPI RIVER AS PLANET

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In attempt to refute accusations it has lost touch with reality, Congress today reclassified the Mississippi River as a planet and gave itself until midnight tonight to find the nation’s tallest pigeon. [Read More]

CONGRESS WELCOMES FIRST OPENLY BIPARTISAN REPRESENTATIVE

CONGRESS WELCOMES FIRST OPENLY BIPARTISAN REPRESENTATIVE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – History was made Friday as Rep. Alice Healy of Wisconsin became the first openly bipartisan member of Congress. [Read More]

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PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously [Read More]

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing that President Obama’s executive action on gun control will lead to [Read More]

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

CLEMSON, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Donald Trump’s increasingly toxic rhetoric reached its natural conclusion today as [Read More]

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