Posts Tagged barack obama
STEVEN CHU SULKING OVER U.S. GOVT NOT GETTING WIPED OUT
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Sulking Energy Secretary Steven Chu, the cabinet member designated to sit out the State of the Union address in the event the entire U.S. leadership was killed, has been unable to hide his disappointment ever since the President returned [Read More]
AMERICANS VOTE TO CONTINUE BANGING HEAD AGAINST WALL
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- After years of banging their heads against a wall in frustration over the inability of the White House and Congress to work together, Americans went to the polls Tuesday and voted overwhelmingly to continue banging their heads against a [Read More]
ROMNEY, IN DRAG, DENIES HE HAS TACKED TOO FAR LEFT
SAN FRANCISCO (SatireWire.com) – In a spirited stump speech today, Mitt Romney denied he has changed positions or tacked to the left, although observers couldn’t help but notice the Governor was dressed in drag and wore a rainbow-colored U.S. lapel pin. [Read More]
OBAMA LOSES DEBATE; ALSO ANY HOPE FOR ANNIVERSARY SEX
DENVER, CO. (SatireWire.com) – Following his weak showing in Wednesday’s debate with Mitt Romney, President Obama’s 20th wedding anniversary ended in further disappointment as sources say the First Lady refused to have anniversary sex with, “a man who has clearly [Read More]
OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT
WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a gaffe that may cost Barack Obama the election, the White House today admitted the President slept last night, a revelation that outraged Republicans who questioned how anyone could sleep "while America suffers." [Read More]
OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN’T EVEN TRYING
WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – With yet another flawed front-runner taking the lead in a GOP campaign seemingly bent on self-destruction, President Obama today privately told friends he is starting to think the Republicans aren’t even trying. [Read More]
CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE
ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- Campaign-based concussions have risen 120 percent in the last month as voters across the country are repeatedly banging their heads in frustration against walls, countertops, or the nearest available hard object, the CDC reported today. [Read More]
VIDEO SHOWS BAIN EXECUTIVES URINATING ON LAID-OFF WORKERS
COLUMBIA, S.C. (SatireWire.com) – Efforts to paint Mitt Romney as a heartless corporate raider were reinforced today after a 1992 videotape surfaced showing Bain Capital executives urinating on helpless, laid-off workers. [Read More]
